Young and in love, on May 28, 2011, this 22 and 23 year old said "I do" and had no idea what the journey ahead would bring.
So Much to Celebrate
While in Thailand this May, Steven and I celebrated 14 years of marriage! This year, we had all three of our children with us — as we had just taken custody of our new daughter and I was just shy of 11 weeks pregnant with our third little love!
When I look back at our marriage and our journey through infertility and adoption, I can remember the season that we began to discuss trying to start a family. We had been married for 4, almost 5 years and we were excited to begin trying.
We had no reason to believe that either of us would struggle with any fertility issues, so we spent the next year experiencing confusion and disappointment, and the desire to start a family only grew stronger for us. By year 6 and 7 into marriage, the inability to conceive had become so painful and heartbreaking. We prayed (along with so many kind people in our lives) asking for healing, trusting that God saw and knew our struggle. Though we didn't understand all the whys behind the wait, we chose to lean into His presence for the peace and comfort to walk it out in faith.
A Different Perspective
In our prayers, fasting, and seeking the Lord for His will and desire to start our family, it was in March 2018, at the height of the emotional roller coaster of not being able to conceive that He spoke to Steven and I on the exact same day regarding adoption. You see, up to this point, we had not felt led to pursue any kind of medical intervention regarding this “infertility” that we were facing. We felt the Lord lead us to wait upon Him - and that He would make it clear to us what to do.
Years earlier, I heard a quote that shaped my perspective on our trials: another couple in our lives had a rocky start with trying to start a family and getting pregnant, too, and there was an older gentleman in their church that had stopped to pray over them and their struggles. He said these words,
“God opens wombs for His glory and God closes wombs for His glory.”
That couple has since had multiple children naturally and have chosen to adopt to add to their family, as well. Praise the Lord!
As for me, little did I know that those words would become my very own anthem and lifeline as I navigated the waters of disappointment, heartache, and unmet desires. The Lord powerfully used this quote to shape the way I looked at our struggle. As I looked at biblical examples of barren women and God opening their womb to bear a child, it helped me trust God's heart and timing. I felt a caution not to "Ishmael" our way to a desired outcome by trying to take matters into our own hands. We had unity to wait on the Lord's guidance in each step, and if He wanted to lead us to seek medical intervention He would; if He wanted to heal us and give us a child upon the laying of hands and prayers of the saints - He would. If He had a different plan for us and how He desired to give us a family, then we had to learn to surrender to that, too.
A Prayer of Surrender
“God, if you want to start our family in a way that is not biological first, I am willing.”
These words of surrender came from my lips on a sunny day in March in 2018 when I was praying once again about our struggles and disappointments of not being able to get pregnant. Steven and I had always talked about adding to our family through adoption "one day", but these thoughts and ideas lived in the future—we always assumed that God would bless us with biological children first, and then we would add to our family through adoption down the road. But I found a sweet freedom that afternoon in my confession, and I wrapped up my honest prayer to the Lord by asking Him to speak to my husband’s heart next. Well, I have to tell you it was that very same night that Steven initiated a conversation with me over dinner about adoption! And little did I know that it was earlier that morning that he was in a prayer meeting when the Lord had specifically placed a desire for adoption on his heart! We knew that the Lord was speaking clearly to us that day, and we began researching, praying, and learning more about what this was all about.
Little did we know, that about a month after the Lord led us to say YES to adoption as His Plan A for starting our family, a little boy was being born in Pune, India.
As we have walked the road of international adoption twice now over the past 7 years, we have experienced many ups and downs, long waits, and many little victories along the way. We love to share with others that this was always God’s Plan A for our family. It may not be what we had originally imagined, but it’s what we believe was God’s design for us and what He had planned for us from the very beginning of time.
Adoption is a calling, not a backup plan. We clearly felt the prompting of His Spirit in our lives to move forward two different times, and He has confirmed every step along the way, making it so clear that this is how He wanted to give us our firstborn son and daughter.
We can clearly see how the Lord had His purposes and plans for closing my womb all of these years, bringing two beautiful children into our family, and now He has seen fit to open my womb to grow our family with our first biological child, a little girl due in December. We rejoice in the double blessing of TWO PINK LINKS this year!
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