Though we do not have any new news about our adoption process, we are excited to share about some new things happening in this season of life!
We got new photos of our girl this week! In the first photo, Palida's foster mother is holding up the onesie that we sent to her in a package around Christmas time last year!
We would love to show you the photos in person! We cannot show her face on any public media platforms.
Birthday News
It was the day before Olive’s 2nd birthday; May 23rd on our time zone, but 11 hours ahead in Thailand, it was already her official birthday and I wanted us to celebrate in real time along with her. So I had prepared the special occasion for a family outing to a Thai restaurant, I had a gift ready for Aaro to open on her behalf that would be something that they could share and play with together in time; and I bought cupcakes - ones for us to eat in her honor and one special one that went straight into the freezer. You can’t freeze time, but you can freeze a cupcake… and it’s a special item that we hope to bring out on her 3rd birthday that we share together in person. We did this for Aaro’s 1st birthday that we had to miss, but got to celebrate his 2nd together and brought the cupcake out.
The day started off so sweet as we enjoyed our favorite local Thai cuisine where I made all of us wear party hats! And we had a shared celebratory spirit with one another even in the midst of the very real heartache and longing of wishing that baby sister were here with us for this 24th month of her life. We were heading back home for some down time before a little “party” with the cupcakes and gift when I got an unexpected email from our adoption agency. The subject of the email struck my heart: “Update from Thailand.” I immediately assumed the BEST and was so excited in my heart; this was the best birthday gift ever, they had a special update about our process and the timing was just so perfect.
But my heart sank as I read through the message. And by the end of the email, I was paralyzed with fear, confusion, and doubt. A new step was being suddenly added to our already unknown and lengthy wait for “First Approval.” Here we were with the burden of an unknown timeline for approval of our match with this little girl, and the committee that oversees the approvals enacted a new requirement for children whose birth mothers do not have Thai nationality; Palida’s mother is from Myanmar, the neighboring country to Thailand. We knew this when we said yes to her file and we were told that there would be nothing different about our process. But the “update from Thailand” was serious:
“While previous cases of a child without Thai nationality were approved with no issue, the board has decided to put an extra step into the process when the birth mother is of non-Thai nationality. Now there will be a 30-day waiting period for the Myanmar Embassy to respond to the request to allow a child relinquished by a non-Thai birth mother to be placed for international adoption.”
The newly added waiting — this news on her birthday, it felt absolutely crushing. For the rest of the weekend I fell into a stupor. I felt, for the first time in this process a wave of FEAR rush over me that this process could end with a NO. That after all of the waiting, the emotional investment, the dreaming and planning, and prayers and love invested into this child and our journey with her, though from afar — imagining that it could end with a DENIED stamp on our file was too much to fathom. I knew that I had to fully release her and surrender this process and child to the Lord, giving her over and asking God to make my heart ok with whatever He was asking of us. I wrestled and wept, I asked the Lord for help to understand this newly added step and questioned why He would ask us to wait with even more uncertainty.
I did not receive clarity or answers, and I grieved in a deeper and different way at that point in the journey… but I did reach a place of peace and acceptance; I surrendered the outcome of this approval process to the Lord fully and made peace with the fact that whatever may come would be His good purpose and plan; His will be done. And if it were to end in a NO and all of this were to fall apart and out of our hands, I faced the very real questions in my heart: Would I still trust that God was good and that His ways are better and higher than mine? I had to really wrestle with these themes and questions because I knew that to be okay… I had to first walk through the darkness and surrender over to Him the worst possible outcomes of this journey. And God met me with the comfort and peace I required to be able to give it wholeheartedly over to Him.
He’s Working in the Waiting
Though we STILL wait for First Approval even now, we did get some interesting news in mid July. Apparently, the board had sent off a letter to the Myanmar Embassy for the 30 day waiting period on June 25th. Our family was serving in Jamaica on a mission trip, and little to our knowledge - this scary added step that had been such a weight on our shoulders, had been working itself out and nearing an end and we didn’t even know it had even begun. We were so surprised that they had unexpectedly sent off this approval early and in the opposite order of what we were told. And the 30 day waiting period came and went in July… without a word. We can only assume that no objections meant that we have the ok to move forward with First Approval as normal (per our agency’s recommendation.) So we think that the newly added step and scare of it all is behind us. We now continue to wait for First Approval from the Thai committee.
Every 2 Weeks
The board meets about every 2 weeks and all of us waiting families patiently wait to hear news of whether any families get approved at the meeting. The estimated expected wait time for first approval is 9-15 months after you match with your child and your dossier is sent to Thailand; our date is considered November 2023. So we are now 10 months into the wait with no indication of when our approval will happen.
On one hand, it’s nice to have a chance for some good news and movement every two weeks, but on the other it’s emotionally very challenging to go through the hope and disappointment roller coater twice a month. It’s so hard to have an unknown timeline as you so desperately desire to plan and prepare for the season that you get to bring your child into your family and home. I am ready to prepare the nest!
What’s next?
So what happens after we do get this First Approval? There’s an estimated 3-6 months of additional waiting before we would be permitted to travel and go get our girl. There are additional approvals with Immigration and exit permits/visas that all have to be finalized before we have dates for our Gotcha trip to Thailand. So we are VERY eager to get past this long wait for First Approval to then begin preparing for the final steps ahead that lead to bringing her home.
Our 3 Year Anniversary Gift
We have now hit 3 Years of being in this process since our application acceptance with Holt International in August 2021. And as a waiting family in an international adoption process, your home study expires after 1 year. So as an anniversary gift, we get to do a home study update!
This will be our second home study update, essentially making for 3 rounds of a home study process, and if you don’t know about what all is involved in that process… whew. It’s a lot of fees, hours of paperwork, appointments, fingerprinting, medical clearances, education and training, and home visits with a social worker. They want to know every detail about every area of your life… and then check in again every year to make sure you’re still not a convicted felon and haven’t made any huge life changes that would affect a child coming into your care.
It’s all important. It’s all necessary. It’s all part of protecting children.
It’s just extremely inconvenient and time-consuming and can feel insulting when you reach this point in your adoption journey.
But alas, our home study expires at the beginning of September, so the month of August has been dedicated to working on ALL. THE. THINGS. It was a really hard pill to swallow when we were contacted in July about our home study update coming soon… in the midst of a cruel wait that seems like no end is in sight, it just felt like salt in the wound this month. I was really hoping and praying for a bit more motivation to help us complete the tedious update — something like a First approval.
Hope Speaks from the Past
At the beginning of the month, I saw a post on my Facebook memories pop up that was reflecting on our first adoption process with Aaro. This post shared on August 3rd was a look back at what I called “my favorite day in the entire adoption process.” I read the post and tears filled my eyes.
The Lord knew I needed to hear these words that I wrote 4 years ago to meet me where I’m at now. He used 2020 Kristin to speak to tired, worn out and sad 2024 Kristin even when I had no idea then that I’d be in another adoption process now. When I read the words, I instantly knew that this feeling, this weight being lifted that comes with this current step being finished with - THAT is what I’m waiting for, that feeling is what is getting me through right now. I know that the joy of seeing an actual end in sight will carry me through the last leg of this journey. And I know the day must be drawing near. But as I have confessed: it is hard to hope. “Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.”
The Lord WILL give me the strength.. and “He enables me to tread on the heights.”
If the Lord is asking us to continue to wait, then we can trust that He will give us everything we need to endure this. I am focusing on one day at a time and trusting His grace for what is right in front of me; I am no longer thinking too far ahead and letting it overwhelm me or paralyze me with how much longer? I will receive grace for today and look for His blessings and treasures in this waiting season.
(Aaro got this fortune cookie this weekend at an Asian restaurant, and without us looking at it, we asked him to sound out every word aloud to try and practice reading it. With our encouragement, he successfully got each word out one by one, and the message that he proclaimed filled our hearts with so much joy.)
We do have so much to be thankful for.
ADVENTURES IN THE WAITING
Gotcha Day!
Aaro’s 5th Gotcha day is coming up on September 5th!! It was this time 5 years ago that we were arriving in India and preparing to visit him at his orphanage. We got to visit him a couple of times during the week and then we took him into our care and eventually had a family ceremony at his orphanage and said goodbye to his first home on that sunny morning of September 5th. He attached to us quickly and we had such a special first few days together as a new family. Those memories will forever be etched on my heart. What a wild and incredible journey to becoming parents!
A Birthing and Launching Season
What’s very interesting in the timing of Aaro’s gotcha day and the date we brought him home to the U.S. (September 13, 2019) is that exactly one year later, we launched our new church plant in Athens, GA! So as we celebrate 5 years of Aaro being home with us, we also celebrate our 4th anniversary for the church on September 13th!
This particular season of the year for our family continues to be a “birthing” and launching season, it seems. You see, we are heading into yet another launch season for our church ministry! We are currently becoming Revival City Church - this will be a new name and we are about to step into a new location with the purchase of a new building and property in Athens!
There are so many similar feelings and flashbacks that I am having to the season of going to get Aaro in India and knowing in our hearts that God was leading us in a next step of obedience to the city of Athens for church planting. I felt this excitement of two new things birthing at once — a fresh calling for our family in ministry in a new place; and a new season of motherhood that my heart had longed for and prayed for and waited for for so long.
I find myself feeling similar parallel seasons once again! We are launching a brand new season of ministry with a lot of changes and exciting new opportunities, and I feel in my heart this longing for my child and awaiting the green light to be able to go get her and bring her into our family’s lives here. I know that God’s timing is perfect and that He will allow us to focus on the things that He is giving us to steward in a healthy way. I can feel emotionally torn, though when launching into exciting new things in one area of life when another is not moving forward as I had hoped or expected. I struggle with feeling emotionally present and fully engaged in it all when I carry an angst in the wait.
But we carry forward in faith, and we trust God to meet us with our daily bread. His perfect timing will become clear, and I know it will be worth it to remain faithful, hopeful, and leaning on Him through it all.
Garden City Community School
We have enjoyed this sweet season of stepping into a new school environment for Aaro where he seems to be thriving. He is in a small classroom with 8 kids; the school has a shorter week and school days (Mon - Thurs 9am to 2pm) which has been a great fit so far, and seems to be more conducive for his attention span and busy body. They spend ample time outdoors and he does well to have that built into his learning day. We also feel that we have some more time and margin with this weekly schedule for the extra activities that we are committed to during the week that help to support his growth, development, and learning journey! And the coolest part about this new school, Garden City, is that they are in the certification process of becoming a “Bridge School,” which is a new model that our incredible agency (that we used for Aaro’s adoption,) Lifeline Children’s Services has developed recently. The school is trained to provide built-in support for the unique ways that the brains of children who come from hard backgrounds (trauma, adoption, foster) develop and learn. They address the challenges and differences that can arise in these kids’ educational journey and they provide resources and support to meet these needs.
What is a Bridge School? (click link for more info!)
We feel SOOO blessed to be jumping into Garden City’s second year as a school, and we have felt the Lord so clearly lead us to be part of this special place. We can’t wait to see Aaro continue to thrive and grow in the loving atmosphere of this community this year!
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